Two of the strangest stories attached to Goldwyn describe him responding to censorship problems by proposing to change the characters’ ethnicity. In one version, after being told that Radclyffe Hall’s lesbian novel The Well of Loneliness could not be filmed, Goldwyn supposedly replied, “That’s all right, we’ll make them Hungarians.” Another version places a similar remark in connection with the 1934 film rights to Lillian Hellman’s The Children’s Hour, with Goldwyn allegedly saying, “That’s okay; we’ll turn them into Armenians.” The jokes neatly capture the absurdity of the era’s censorship regime, when studios could alter identities more easily than openly depict homosexuality, but the anecdotes are not securely documented and appear in variant forms. They are best treated as Goldwyn lore rather than established quotations—part of the same comic tradition that manufactured many of his famous “Goldwynisms.”
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